Deja Vu
by janya.wrote.nightrose
Summary: Alice's POV. An AU from chapter 3 of New Moon. Bella is brought to Jacksonville. Without Jacob Black to cling to, she is even more heartbroken. Alice wasn't looking, really, she wasn't- but sometimes the visions just come. And once she knows... Please R
1. Chapter 1

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_Emptiness. Consuming. It pulled you in. There was nothing there. Just eyes, and if you look in them all you see is that there is nothing to see. She is so very empty. Nothing, nothing. Just the nothingness._

_ The face is vaguely familiar. The only feature unchanged, however, is her chocolate brown hair. Everything else has been devoured. Her skin was always pale, but it is now white. Not fair, not just light-colored, but actually white. It is paler than yours, and the tone of your flesh comes from the fact that no blood runs through your veins. In a human, it is disturbing._

_ Mirroring again your face, only still more jarring, more unnatural, are the shadows under her eyes. You don't look at the eyes themselves. They're too horrible. However, there is plenty of terror in the purple shading beneath them. She looks as though she's been punched hard in both eyes. You would actually think she'd been beaten if it weren't for the perfect pale tone of the rest of her skin._

_ Her features are sunken. Her nose is much longer, to your eye. It's because of the hollowness in her cheeks, the thin shape that's replaced her familiar beauty._

_ Her whole body, in fact, is unrecognizably slender. She was never large, but now she looks malnourished. You can count her ribs through her clothing. _

_ And then you do look at her eyes. You regret it. There is nothing. Nothing. No light. No shine. It hurts to look at. _

I know I shouldn't be seeing this. He'll be furious. But I can't get rid of the vision. I want to. It is painful. But it's so strong. As strong as the first time I saw Jasper, as strong as the seeing that made me give up human blood forever. It is too much for me.

_You look around and see something horrible. You know where they're taking her. It resounds, though you do not really remember. It is familiar in an intrinsic way, like a half-remembered nightmare you wake up from._

_ A similar-looking older woman takes her hands. She doesn't react at all. "Now, honey. These people are going to help you get better. You're going to have to stay with them for a little while. Just until you aren't sick anymore. All right? I love you, Bella."_

_ She doesn't react or respond. The woman sighs. She watches as the girl is picked up on a stretcher by men in white jackets. They carry her out the door of her home. The woman clings to her husband and weeps._

_ The girl still doesn't move._

_ She just sits on the stretcher, staring straight ahead with those awful eyes, clinging to her stomach like she's afraid her heart will fall out if she doesn't keep the hands there. You can see the tendons, the bones, poking beneath the colorless skin. It looks sharp enough to break it. She looks so very fragile._

_ You watch the men load her onto a van. They are regretful. You realize the mother, in the usual way of things, would have taken the girl to the place she's going… but she can't move._

_ Finally, as the door closes, you see her move. Her drained lips move a tiny bit, just enough to let out a tiny moan. It is no word, just a sound. It is full of such unimaginable pain. _

_ The girl is alone in a darkness you remember. You suffered it in another life. It will not happen to her, not to her._

"Edward!" I scream. "I am going to _kill_ you!"

Of course, he didn't hear me. He was…

_Curled up in a little puddle of agony. Delusional. Trying to convince himself not to go back as he tried to stop from dying of heartbreak. Maybe that could break his granite body. Maybe this pain could shatter something more productive than his heart…_

No. I will not be induced to pity him! He did that to Bella. They're taking my best friend to an asylum. My own sister. I've seen the inside of those walls, and I will not allow the same to happen to her. It isn't permissible, and I will fight Edward with my bare hands if that's what it takes. He is going to stop this.

_"No, Alice. Absolutely not. She's better off without me."_

_ "She's catatonic. She'd commit suicide, except she can't move. Edward! She can't be worse off than she is without you."_

_ He doesn't listen to you._

I'll drag him there. He'll see it himself. And he will be sorry when I kick his behind to Volterra and back. Oh, he will be.

Jazz tumbles down the stairs. "Alice, what's wrong?"

"Edward… I am going to _destroy _him. Want to help?"

"Of course, my love. May I ask why?" Ah, my Jasper. Always the gentleman. Sometimes I love him so much… okay, I always love him so much.

"I just had a vision. Renee's sent Bella to an _asylum_."

Before I got the painful word out, his hands were rubbing circles on my back, comforting me. "Oh, Alice. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be sorry for me. Be sorry for Bella. I've gone through my time in hell. I've gotten over it. Bella…"

"I'm sorry I tried to kill your best friend." The words are full of biting sarcasm. The fury isn't directed at me, of course. He's never angry at me, only at himself. The air pops with his loathing.

_"Good-bye, Alice."_

_ "No! Where are you going! Jazz! Come back." This can't be happening. Doesn't he love you?_

_ "I'm a monster."_

_ "You're my monster, damn you! Come back here! I can't live without you!"_

_ His eyes are full of regret and pain as he looks at you. "You can't live at all."_

I turn away. "Well, they'll probably have to lock me up too."

"What?"

"Because you're doing the same damn thing Edward does. He hates himself. That's why he left Bella. And now you're trying to shoulder all the blame, and when you leave, I'm going to go nuts. And here I was thinking I'd left my mental institution days behind."

"I'll never leave you." A promise he won't keep. I shudder with the pain.

"You just did," I whisper.

"No. No, Alice, angel…"

"If you're a monster, so am I."

"You don't kill people."

"Neither do you."

He didn't engage in the argument. He could probably see how desperate I was to be reassured, so all he did was kiss me. "Do we need to kill Edward?"

"No. Just beat some sense into his thick head."

"Okay." Jasper was always up for a little head-bashing. Boys. It's a wonder he and Emmett are both still alive, what with their constant fighting.

"I can't let this happen."

"Don't worry. We'll make it better."

"I don't know if we can."

His eyes bore into mine. If I have a soul, he's searching it. "Alice, I swear I'm not going to leave you. I love you. I'm not as dumb as my stupid brother."

I search for the vision of him.

_You kiss him, feverishly. His hands grip furiously at your clothing and…_

I grin. "All right, you're not. Now, let's go put the regret into said stupid brother."

"I am engaged, and bend up each corporal agent to this terrible feat…"

I roll my eyes. "Be serious, Jazz. She's really hurting."

"They both are. Ah, methinks there's no such fool as a lover…"

"Then label me stupid."

We both laugh at that. And then I sigh.

It is a short flight. Jasper's forgeries of tickets are flawless. We find Edward easily. Jazz can feel the agony from miles away. The location of my brother is dark and dingy. I wonder how long he's been here. I'll have to ask…

_"I don't know. Time doesn't mean anything to me."_

_ "Why are you doing this to yourself?" you ask._

_ He sighs before he answers. His eyes are as dark as his room- or den, to be more accurate. "I deserve it."_

Seeing the future is mightily convenient sometimes. It saves one so many awkward questions. I walk to the door. It is thick and black, the only stable part of this shanty. It looks like a boulder has been wedged to prevent anyone from thinking of entering, let alone actually attempting it. Fortunately, being a vampire is handy sometimes too.

It takes little time to remove the thing. I can't see at all in the little dark hut. It's barely big enough for the huddled form in the center. As soon as Edward is in the same space as us, Jasper moans. I turn to him in worry.

"It hurts," he whispers. "I've never felt such torment."

I will _not _feel sorry for Edward. It is his own fault, and if he wants to not be in pain, he can go right back to Bella, who is currently languishing in the nuthouse because of his abandonment. That worked nicely. My internal rant has served its purpose. Guilt all gone.

_"You can't angst yourself to death, brother."_

_ "Watch me."_

This is going to be hard. "Edward, get your butt out here!" I scream.

Or not. Actually, it's very satisfying.

He crawls out from the darkness on hands and knees, not looking at me. He extends his head and arms from the room, arching his back inward like a cat.

His eyes are just as empty, but they glitter with fury instead of painful blankness.

"Would you like to know what I just saw? Would you? Hmm? Because, let me…"

"I told you not to look for her future, Alice."

He has the nerve to be mad at me! Jasper growls at his tone. However, I can solve my own problems. "And who died and named you king of the universe! You're not in charge of my power. Anyway, I didn't look. Sometimes it comes all by itself."

"Go away."

"No. I'm not going anywhere until you look at me and tell me… Edward, do you know where Bella is?"

He sighs. "Don't make me think about it."

"Do you?"

"Alice, please." He is weak. Pained. And I don't care.

"_Do you?_"

"I presume she's safe and happy in Forks."

"You presume wrong."

"No. I refuse to believe it."

I am furious. "This isn't about you anymore. Do you know where Isabella Marie Swan is?" I ask again, using the full name, for little reason other than that I see it hurts him. I don't feel at all guilty. "She's in an _asylum._"

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	2. Chapter 2

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__

"I don't believe you."

He doesn't sound like he means it. "What, pray tell, would be my motivation for lying in this instance?"

"You want me to go back."

"Yes. Yes, I want you to go back. Is that such a terrible thing? I want you to be happy. You're my brother. I love you. I want you to go back. Even if she wasn't locked up because you literally _drove her insane,_ I'd still tell you to go back. But this, I'm not telling. I'm asking, and if you refuse, I'm dragging you there whether you like it or not. You don't get a choice anymore. So far, your choices have stunk."

"But at least she's safe, right?" he asks, voice truly desperate, like it's the last thing in the universe he can cling to.

I look for the answer.

_Tuft of red hair. Like fire, smiling at one of the workers. "I need to see Isabella Swan," she says, and they let her in._

_ You see the corpse in her arms. It is no paler than it was before. There is nothing left to drain from her._

"No, she most certainly is not. In your little scheme, I do believe you forgot about one important factor. Victoria."

He growls. "I'm taking care of that."

"Obviously not, as I just saw her killing Bella."

He springs forward, like he's going to attack me, but then falls back, face on floor, and sobs. "I can't go back."

"You don't have an option."

"It's not right."

"It's the only thing that is. Edward, listen. She loves you. You love her. You're both miserable."

He shakes his head. The only thing that moves is her hair. "No, it's just a crush. She told her mother that. She'll get over it."

Could he really believe that? "She was _lying_ to her mother, you _idiot._ No teenager tells their parents they're in love. Parents don't believe in teenage love. Her mother would have freaked out, told Charlie, and banned you from the house."

"A good decision."

"No, because _Victoria's coming to get her!_"

Edward didn't move.

"Alice, I don't think we're getting anywhere," Jasper murmurs. "All I'm getting from him is pain."

"All right. I don't feel like making my husband endure your masochistic emotional torture anymore. You're coming with us."

"NO!" He clings to the ground. Fortunately, he hasn't fed in ages. Jazz lifts him easily. He bites and scratches and writhes around. Jasper just avoids the blows.

"Your prisoner, my lady. Shall we?"

_"What are we going to do with her?"_

_ "Dr. Miles says shock therapy," a young woman says._

_ "Shock therapy! Didn't they stop using that…"_

_ "In most cases, years ago. But with severe depression…"_

Or, of course, seeing the future. I will not let this happen to her.

"Let's go. We've got a girl to save."

We run there. Edward is carried the entire way, just lying totally immobile. He doesn't seem to think or move at all. Rather like Bella. Only Bella is not in pain because of her own stupidity… unless you call falling in love with Edward stupid.

Which I might.

We reach the mental institution speedily. It is not so dark or dingy as the place where I was imprisoned, but it certainly doesn't look like somewhere I want to leave my sister for the rest of her life, which is what the future is right now.

_White has replaced the brown. Her hair now matches her skin. It is wrinkled and puckered. She is old. And it has been seventy years since she moved. Half-heartedly, an aide tries to coax her into eating. It is only a minute before he sticks the I.V. in. She hasn't eaten in seventy years. Why start now?_

This can't happen to her. I am not going to allow the same to happen to both of us, not another of those places, not wilting forgotten in the darkness and the pain.

Jasper drops Edward, none too gently, on the ground. He winces, and I don't think it's because of the fall. "Is this where you think she is?" he whispers.

"I know."  
He doesn't argue, just nods stiffly. One hand extends almost involuntarily toward the building. I sigh.

"Come on, Edward. Let's get you reunited."

"I shouldn't. I can't."

"Right now, you don't have any options, brother of mine. Now get that butt in there before I whip it."

He walks in. It is slow, painfully. Painfully is my new favorite adverb to apply to him. Everything he does seems agonized. His steps land on the ground with a force that weeps as it strikes.

_"I can't do it." He turns to face you. "I can't."_

"You don't have a choice. Get a move on."

He sighs and continues walking. I follow, too close, behind him.

The door is open. I stride right through. A young man sits at the desk, playing solitaire. I grin winningly at him, ignoring Jasper's jealous growl. My silly husband.

"Hello…" he stammers.

"Hi. I need to see Isabella Swan, please."

"No visitors. She's in the intensive unit. Sorry," he says.

Edward moans. _Intensive._

"I'm her sister. Our parents are divorced, and I didn't grow up with her. But now we go to the same school, and we're best friends." Sort of a lie, but lying is a small sin, comparatively. You know, next to the murders and everything. "This is my idiot adopted brother, also known as the reason she's here. He's come to apologize. They're in love, but he's just too dumb to realize she loves him as much as he loves her. So, please let us in."

"Can't. Sorry." Now he sounds scheming, like he's holding out for something. I've dealt with too many humans to be taken in by this. Instead, I indicate Jasper.

"Oh, and this is my husband, Jasper." Jazz steps forward, looking threatening. He's sort of good at that.

"Pleasure to meet you," the man grumbles. I smile winningly again. This time, I flash, instead of a grin, several hundred dollars.

"I really need to see her. She's my best friend. Please?"

He takes the money. "All right." He turns to the little microphone. "Visitors for Patient 3483. Yes, yes, I know she's on lockdown. Special. Mm-hmm. No, it's not a chick, what would give you that idea, Damien? What do you mean you know me? Well, they're on their way."

I smile and thank him.

Edward only manages a dread-filled whine.

The door is locked and sealed. Several people look at us. I wonder if they'll try to stop me…

_All clear, striding through to see her, no trouble at all…_

Excellent. I walk confidently. Edward mopes pathetically behind me. It's kind of sad. I sigh and coax him on. "Edward, we're nearly there now."

He claps his hands over his ears. He can't even bear the sound of his own name. It's _very _sad. Jazz and I break down the door.

It is significantly worse than seeing it in visions. I am inside an asylum, looking at this girl who used to be Bella. I can't call her that anymore. She isn't even a person, more like a shadow. A zombie, except unmoving. A corpse.

_"I've killed her," he whispers, horrified. "I've killed her."_

_ You agree. You don't say it, but it's true._

"Come on in, Edward. She needs you."

I've never seen more apparent, desperate need than the one in his eyes. He's like a child, so easily hurt, so transparent is the feeling in his face. "Do you really think so?"

It is asked innocently, so I answer it in the same spirit. "Yes, Edward. I do."

It makes him wince again, to hear the name. Does he hate himself so much? It's pitiable. I am forced to push him in. He stumbles through the doorway and catches sight of Bella. A brief vision flashes through my mind, lasting only as long as his gasp.

_"Please, Aro. Please. If you'd seen what I did to her… don't make me live."_

_ The black-haired monster laughs and laughs at his pain. "Fascinating. A suicidal vampire. One doesn't see many of those."_

It fades quickly. He shakes off the desire. Instead, he collapses beside her, sprawling to the floor.

It is then that the pain hits me. It was a place just like this where I was captured and imprisoned and tortured. It is a place like this where my life was stolen.

"What's wrong?" Jasper winces. I am certain he's in pain too.

"I have to get out of here." The walls are pressing down and closing in. I can hardly breathe, not that I need to. My lungs swell.

"I can feel you panicking, Alice. Don't. No one's going to hurt you. I swear."

"Jazz, get me out." It is a second. He debates what I really want, whether it's me or the fear talking. I'm not entirely sure myself, to tell the truth. It's hard to know when I can't think at all. Finally, he makes the decision.

He nods and grabs Edward and Bella. They are both totally immobile. It takes little strength to lift the human, especially in her malnourished state. Edward's a different story, but at least he can't struggle.

Jasper turns and indicates the door with his head in a gentlemanly fashion.

We run from the cursed halls as the darkness closes in. I try to fight it off as I run away like the coward I am.

_She was always in the dark…_

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	3. Chapter 3

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We are safe now. Not at our home- too many prying eyes. Instead, we whipped out the cash and bribed our way into a Motel 6 with no questions asked. From the look on the host's eyes and my vision…

_Jabbing the needle into his flesh, feeling the swell of power, the need for more and more and more…_

He would have let us carry a pair of corpses in as opposed to a comatose couple- though there admittedly wasn't much of a difference. I sigh and hold the door for Jazz. He drops them on the floor, where they stare straight ahead, not quite at each other.

A second passes. I realize I will have to manually adjust if I want eye contact. I grab Edward's head and move it so his eyes will align with Bella.

It's amusing how instant his response is. As soon as their eyes meet, he gasps. "Bella. My Bella."

Her voice comes out as a total shock. It is a hoarse croak, weary and sore from disuse, and it is full of pain. Jasper winces as she speaks. "It's you."

"Edward," he coaxes, and she flinches back. "Edward."

She claps her hands over her ears, returning like that to the immobile posture.

"Bella, I love you… you know that, right?"

She screams. It is a blood-curdling heart-pounding sound, the worst I've ever heard. So much pain…

She doesn't explain herself, so I see her motivation for her.

_"Don't lie to me. I won't survive it again…"_

"She thinks you're lying," I explain.

"Why?" he asks. I mentally slap my forehead. _Could have had a V8._

"Because you broke her heart and rendered her comatose, you idiot."

"Doesn't she trust me?"

"When you lie to someone, _they stop trusting you, _moron."

"When have I ever lied to Bella?"

"When you said you didn't love her, stupid. Now please grow some sense. I'm running out of epithets."

Jasper chuckles. Edward makes a murderous face. Bella remains on the floor, all curled in a little ball of agony. It's become a common sight for me. Evidently it's how my loved ones react to emotional stress.

"Bella," Edward tries again. "Bella, I'm not lying to you. Listen to me, listen to me, please, please."

"NO!" she screams again. "NO! DON'T! I'll die, I will, this time it'll kill me, I can't stand it, I can't."

"What's she talking about?" he asks. I just stare blankly at him.

"Figure it out for yourself, genius. I'm getting my poor husband out of here. Fix your stupid mistake. I'll be in Forks when you need me," I say.

"No. Stay," he begs. I shake my head and walk away.

Bella screams as I leave. It's the only thing that could tempt me to stay… but it's best for both of them if I force him to do this.

Jasper follows me, utter relief on his face. "Thanks, Alice. I appreciate that you'd leave for me."

"Well, I can still peek," I giggle, and he smiles.

We run again, this time towards home at last.

_Edward whispers his name, again and again. Each time she screams. Finally, he has a little mercy. Instead, he says her name._

_ She weeps._

_ "Why do you cry?" he asks, like he honestly doesn't know._

Jasper is nearby. He holds my hand, practiced as he is with my strange visions turning painful. He knows how to deal with this brand of sorrow, and I am comforted.

_She can't speak. He doesn't know. He can't tell the reason. It's him. It's all because of him. He left and took everything with her, so much she can't even speak those words now. She can't speak at all._

_ Another thing he's stolen. Her voice, her heart… What more can he take?_

"That _idiot_," I mutter and Jazz laughs.

"Our brother?"

"Yeah."

"If he ever comes home… remind me to kick his butt."

I join in the laughter. "I'll be too busy with that myself, though." Suddenly, though, I sober. "Oh, Jazz. I've never seen anyone so sad."

"As who? Him, or her?"

"Both."

"All that pain, Alice. All that… agony. It's excruciating to remember. It's like… it's the worst thing I've ever felt," he whispers. I touch his face gently. His eyes look so woeful.

"I'm sorry…"

"I can't imagine how it must be for them."

"For her. I don't feel sorry for _him._ It's his own fault. Bella… Bella never asked for him to leave her."

"Alice, I don't think… I don't think Edward did anything except exactly what he had to, dearest. I don't blame him. He only did what he had to."

"He almost _killed _her. She had to be locked up because she couldn't do anything! She still can't…"

"I know she's your friend. I know it hurts to see her like that, especially after what happened to you… but I know how Edward feels. There have been times when I did things… that made me want to leave."

I wince.

"Not because I ever stopped loving you!" he protests quickly. "Because I loved you so much. I can't stand to see anything bad happen to you, and Edward thinks he's something bad, Alice."

"Well, he's my brother, and I know better," I insist, somewhat cowed.

_"Will you let me explain?"_

_ She moans. "Nuh…" It's the only sound she can make. He ignores it._

_ "Bella…" she freezes, screaming again. He sighs. "I left…" scream "because I love you."_

_ She turns her head with a vast visible effort. "No. No. No. No. No. No." She shakes her head mechanically, repeating again and again._

_ "Should I go?" You see his pain, though he tries to hide it._

_ She clutches her stomach and screams._

"Should we go back?" I ask.

"No. He needs to figure this one out himself," Jazz says, and I know he's right.

"It's hard to watch. It _hurts _to watch."

"I know. I know, I know. But you have to."

"I know. I can't leave him by himself. He'll only hurt her again, although, in all honesty, what more harm can he do?"

Jasper sighs. "He could actually kill her."

"I'm not sure that would be so much worse."

In fact, it would be better. At least dead she couldn't hurt like this.

_Staring at him in wonder, like she doesn't believe he's real. You don't blame her for not believing in him or anything about him. _

_ Gaze filled with pain and love, and he's too stupid to see it. He keeps asking, again, and again, "Bella, do you love me? It's me, it's Edward, I love you, do you love me?"_

_ Could he do anything else wrong? Could he say anything more painful? You don't think so._

I am never speaking to him again. Never! All eternity is not enough time for me to forgive him, not for this.

I cannot stand to watch him do this to her. It is terrible. It isn't just that he left her, but that he compounds that error with this vast insensitivity.

_"Bella, Bella, please, talk to me, listen to me, _something._ I need you."_

"It isn't his fault," Jazz says.

"I can't agree with that. He should know. Doesn't he know? She hurts every bit as much as he does."

"But he _doesn't _know, Alice. He thinks it's only him that's hurting."

_She starts to sob. You think it may actually be an improvement. At least it's feeling something besides those horrible screams. _

_ He begins to shake, then moves beside her. One hand strokes her hair. The other pulls her close to him._

_ She relaxes into the embrace._

_ "I love you," he whispers._

_ She screams._

"Will it ever get better?" I ask. Not Jasper, more myself. "Will they ever be all right?"

"No. But someday… If he changes her, he can fix it."

I look for that future.

_Sharp, glistening teeth sink into her skin. The whiteness is stained with ruby blood. He drinks._

_ And does not pull away._

"No! We can't let him try that."

"Oh."

I look out into the room, unable to take any more of the future. I can't stand knowing this. It's too much, what Edward has done to her, what he's doing at this very moment. It's too much.

I can't expect either of them to bear it. There is just so much _pain._ I know both are affected, though she shows it more. They are made for each other. How can he stand to leave her?

_"I love you. I only left because I love you, Bella. Believe me. Please, please believe me. I didn't ever want to hurt you. I wanted you to be safe, and happy, and human. Now I find I've done something worse than taking your soul. I've broken your heart… oh, Bella, I love you."_

_ She screams._

_ "Bella, I have to… do you want to come back to the house with me? In Forks? Alice and Jasper will be there," he offers, finally speaking gently and calmly._

_ The pale head nods slowly. It is her greatest range of motion. _

_ Edward lifts her onto his back._

"They're coming here," I whisper. "Good. Obviously, Edward isn't authorized to handle this alone."

"You can say that again," Jasper agrees.

"I'll get ready. You should probably…"

"I'll make myself scarce. I don't want to be around all that agony… or all that blood."

I try to ignore the guilt in his face.

I prepare the front room, then call Carlisle.

"Hello?" he answers.

"Carlisle, I… I… Edward's coming back to Forks."

"Oh, thank God!" he exclaims. "Is he all right?"

I weigh that question for a while.

_You can almost call the expression on his face a smile. Full of pain, maybe, but still… he loves her, and finally, they're together again… _

"Yes. Maybe. You see, Bella isn't here… at the moment. She got taken to Florida."

My father picks up on the word choice instantly. "Taken?"

"Renee sent her to an asylum after about six months of her not eating anything."

"Alice, I'm so sorry…"

"It's not me you should be sorry for. I don't even _remember _it, while Bella… I wonder if he even understands now what he's done to her. But I tracked him down, and he's bringing her here."

"I'm on my way. With Esme, of course, and Emmett and Rose have finally finished their honeymoon, so they'll come."

"Rose?" I ask. "You know she and Bella…"

"She'll behave herself."

_Golden angel looking in pity on the girl ghost. "I remember when… when I was like that. Who betrayed and brutally raped her?"_

_ You ignore the sarcasm and see the sympathy instead. "Well, our brother did the betraying… broke her heart."_

_ "My God. I will kill Edward," she says, and you nod._

_ "You're not the first one to say that."_

_ "I'm the only one scary enough to follow through with it, and someone needs to."_

_ You hope she doesn't need it, not because you ever plan on forgiving him, but because you think it's the only thing that might hurt her still more…_

"You're right, she will," I agree. "But maybe you should tell her not to kill Edward, all right?"

Carlisle laughs for a few brief seconds. "Will do, Alice. Absolutely."

"I don't think this family needs to suffer any more."

"We do have our fair share of tragedies… but we also have enough happy endings to last an eternity. Maybe it's time for Edward's. We all suffered to get where we are. Just remember that, Alice."

"I will." I hang up the phone and wait.

This house is going to be a very interesting place, very shortly.

I am almost excited, even though it will be painful. Until then, I might as well help prepare Jazz. Our separation may last a while. I will miss him so much during the time it takes me to talk Edward into changing Bella.

I'm fairly certain it's the only way this can end. If I have to do it myself, I will. The pain will wake her up, and then she won't remember, and they can be together forever… it might be dishonest, but it will work.

That's all I care about right now.

Jasper comes in to kiss me good-bye. I smile and do so. We've been married for forty years, and I still love every moment we spend together… and will forever.

"Oh, Jazz."

"Alice."

"I'm going to miss you," I whisper.

"That's an understatement. I can feel it already."

"It'd be worse if you hung around."

"Yeah," he says, trying to convince us both.

He carries her in, very gently. I can see from the way his arms wrap around her that he still loves her, that he can't live without her.

She can't. She sees nothing at all.

He lays her gently on the floor and looks up at me with innocent eyes full of agony and desperate hope. "Alice? Alice, will you ever forgive me?"

I can't hate him for this. Not when he asks, not when he looks so desperate, not now. "Oh, Edward. You're my brother. I already have."

"Will _she?_"

"I… I don't know."

"Look."

It isn't a command. If it was, I wouldn't do it. I have no desire to repeat what happened the last time I allowed my brother to demand the use of my power.

But he isn't telling, he's begging, and I can't deny him that which he needs so desperately.

_In the sun, for the first time since he left her, and shining. She is one of you now._

_ "I love you," she says, smiling. It is a drastic change._

_ "And I love you, Bella," he replies._

_ They kiss. As her hand goes to his face, you see an even brighter sparkle. There is a ring on her finger._

"If you change her…" I begin.

"Don't lie to me!" It is a growl. He doesn't want to hear it.

"I am just saying what I saw. I saw you and Bella married, and she was a vampire. She may or may not forgive you otherwise… I don't know."

"I… Alice, I can't damn her. I can't take a soul."

Quietly, I stand as straight as I can, peering over at Bella, huddled on the floor.

"Edward, does she look like someone with a soul to you? Because to me, it sort of looks like you took it already…"

He gasps and falls to the floor, scrambling towards her. He grabs her head and presses it to his chest as he sobs. "Bella," he whispers. "Bella, Bella, Bella."

"Edward," she groans.

I shake my head and close my eyes.

I can't trust the happy ending, not when there is this much pain. There is so very far to go…

_The green surrounds them. They are side by side, together. No sun illuminates her skin, and you see only the back of her head. You can't know whether or not she's been changed. Either way, she looks… happy._

_ Even though you can't see her face. It doesn't take that to recognize she's _alive _again. Her hand is casually in his, her head resting on his shoulder._

_ He talks animatedly about something you can't quite hear. You gather it isn't very important, though. All it really serves is showing you that she doesn't flinch or hide. _

_ Nothing frightens her, because once again he is hers, and so he gives her strength. She returns the favor… They are a circle, feeding and soothing one another…_

_ Forever._

I kneel down beside them. "Edward," I whisper, fiercely, in his ear. "Bite her. Change her. Right now."

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	4. Chapter 4

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His eyes gloss over her neck, widening as they do so. He traces the soft skin with a finger, and she shivers.

"No," he whispers. I can tell it is a lie. He will do it. He has to.

"I can't change her."

"Well, I _can."_ He clearly doesn't believe me. So I up the ante. "Or I could always get Jazz to do it." It's a groundless threat. Both of us know it, but it doesn't stop him from growling at me.

"He'll _kill _her."

"He wouldn't be the first."

"What do you mean?"

He seems honestly bewildered. I sigh. "Edward, look at her. _Look _at her. Does she look alive? Does she look like she's doing 'just fine without you'? You have _literally _driven her insane. Did I say that earlier? I tend to get the times mixed up, but what do I care. I know it's true. You have to. Because…"

"Because?" he prompts, still not looking up, eyes devoutly downward.

"Because you can't do any more harm."

_Blonde. Kind. Man. _

_ It's how you identify people in your visions. You don't know names, only attributes. The small part of you that's watching instead of participating thinks _Carlisle.

_ He rings the door._

"Carlisle's here," I announce. The doorbell rings.

"That's so creepy," Edward mutters.

"Says the kid who can _read minds._"

He laughs, sort of. It is half an honest sound and half a bitter mockery of his own emptiness.

Bella whimpers and shifts in his arms.

Carlisle walks in, the rest of the family following. I smile at them. "Hi, all."

Rose's eyes open. "God, she looks awful. I remember when I was like that. Who betrayed and brutally raped her?"

I groan. "Well, our brother did the betraying… broke her heart."

"I will _kill _him."

"You're not the first to make that offer."

"I'm the first who's going to actually follow through with it." Rosalie steps threateningly toward him. He clutches Bella tighter.

Emmett places a hand on her shoulder. "Damn, Edward, what the hell were you thinking? Do you have any idea… Edward, she needed you."

In our family, there is a great correlation between the separate love stories. Emmett is projecting, quite accurately, the first few months he spent with Rosalie, when she wouldn't even talk to him from guilt and fear. He wouldn't give up. And now, since he was there when she needed him, they are so happy…

"No, she didn't. She wanted me. She needed to be safe. It was just a crush."

"Does this look like just a crush?"

"No…" he admits.

"Then, for God's sake, fix it! You screwed up. Make it better."

Carlisle interjects, in his usual pacifistic manner, "Edward, Alice, you're both right. Edward can't stand to change her… but he was wrong to leave her. Edward, I will change Bella, if…"

"YES!" I squeal. "Oh, this will fix everything! She doesn't have to even remember this!"  
"With or without your consent, if, and only if, you can obtain hers."  
"What? _NO!_" Edward and I exclaim at the exact same time. He continues his protest first. "Carlisle, she's _mine. _I won't let you curse her!"

"She's my daughter. You gave her up, Edward. If it comes to that, I think I have every right to change her. And I'm your father too. It's my decision. I lead this family."

Authority. Such a convenient bludgeon. Time to make my case. "But she's comatose. She can't move."

"Find a way, and I'll change her."

I sigh. "I will."

_Her hair cascades down, a dark curtain. "Please, talk to me," you plead. She doesn't move at all. "Bella, please."_

_ Nothing.  
"Do you want to be a vampire?"_

_ Nothing._

Still no luck. Damn future just won't _change_!

"Definition of insanity," I hear Jazz whisper in my mind. "Doing the same thing over and over…"

And expecting different results. I groan and go for the direct approach.

"Bella?"

Nothing. Just like the vision. I was right, of course. Silly Jasper-hallucination, thinking this would change anything. "Bella, do you want to be a vampire?"

Again, nothing. I sigh and walk over to her. A new tactic occurs to me.

"Bella, Edward will want to be with you if you become a vampire."

Not _strictly _a lie. I mean, he _will,_ I'm just failing to mention he wants her now as well. I have done worse.

"Really?" she asks. It's the first word I've heard escape her lips in so long. She seems to be able to think, almost, to react, to know, to live.

"Really. All you have to do is tell Carlisle to change you and Edward will love you."

Her eyes stare into my soul. They are huge, blank, empty, and they search out the lie. I tremble as she searches for the truth, but I do not budge. I have to fool her. I have to fix this giant mess so they can be together forever.

"Carlisle!" I call, and he comes running.

"Well, Bella? Do you want to be a vampire?" he asks, gently, tenderly, like he's talking to a child.

Bella's wide, empty eyes blink twice. He sighs. "If you don't answer, I can't change you."

"NO!" she screams. "No, do. You have to! Please!"

Then she returns to her silent sulking huddle. But the necessary has been done. She's said what she has to.

Edward runs to her, falling to the floor, shaking her arm desperately. "Bella, my love, don't do this. Don't, please, don't."

She seems utterly bewildered. "But… But… I…"

"Edward, leave her alone. She's made her choice," I snap.

As I say his name, she screams. I sigh.

This is all going to be so much better when no one but the immortals involved remember it. I personally don't think it will do Edward any harm to wallow in guilt for the rest of eternity. What is the phrase that Emmett would employ? I know it, but just for fun I peek into the future.

_"Edward's still all angst-ridden and guilty. What should we do?" you prod._

_ The largest one laughs. "Read my lips, sis. It's his own damn fault."_

I snicker aloud. Best way to put it. And the outcome will be the same, his own damn fault. If he doesn't like it, he'll have to learn to, because he's given up his options by messing up so badly. He doesn't get to choose for Bella again. That ship has sailed.

I'm sure we're all agreed.

Unfortunately, Carlisle isn't. He turns from Edward to me with a heavy sigh, and finally faces her, crouching to be on her eye level, though she won't meet his gaze.

"Look, Bella. I'm going to ask one more time. Answer me yes or no. Do you want to become a vampire?"

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	5. Chapter 5

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Her eyes widen. "Will he love me?"

I look intently at him. He will give the answer he must… the true one. There's no way he'd hurt her by lying. And now she'll agree to the change, and she'll forget this whole mess, and…

"No," he says.

I gasp. "How can you lie like that? Do you just not see…"

Because as he talks, she shrinks back. I see her retreat even further into the agony. Now, worse than refusing, she is unable even to answer. It's beyond pain, beyond anything. She is empty. She isn't even a person, isn't even a shell. There is nothing at all, just a black hole. I'm not talented as Jazz, but I can feel it aching into my very core.

This is the last straw.

"Edward, I am going to _kill _you!" I scream, and I mean it. I jump at him, poised to attack.

He doesn't defend himself, and it's the only thing that slows me down… that and the future.

_Poised on a cliff. Her hair blows in the breeze. You're shocked she has the energy to walk up here. It's remarkable. _

_ The sea roils and churns below, and you look down with her. She almost smiles._

_ "Wait!" You scream. "Don't do this!"_

_ She doesn't answer, only looks down at the water and smiles and smiles._

_ "Why?" you ask. _

_ "You _killed _him. It was bad enough living without his love… but he's dead…" she gasps. It is the first time she has spoken, has shown any life at all, since the incident._

_ It lasts for a second. Distracted, you don't even notice her jump, until there is a distinctive splash in the water. You hurl yourself after her, but you find nothing._

_ Half an hour later, her broken body is located, curled in the weeds. She looks, finally, happy._

_ You weep, but more in relief than sorrow. It's better than watching her suffer more._

"All right. For her, I'm not going to kill you. But you deserve it. Don't you have a clue… how can you lie to her again, Edward? Do you not see what you're doing to her?"

"She's better off this way," he drones. There is no inflection or emotion in his tone. It is like something recited from a textbook, and an exceptionally boring one at that.

"Look at her. Just look at her. Does she look _better off _to you? Because to me she looks like she'd be better off dead than suffering like this!"

He stops for a second, really hearing me for the first time. "Do you truly think so?"

"Yes. I do."

"Bella?" he whispers. "Bella, I will still love you. I'll always love you, no matter what."

She shakes her head. "I can't stand it. Don't lie to me anymore, Ed-" she cuts herself off, wincing. "Don't lie to me."

"Bella, make the change. Please."

"I don't want to live forever."

"Please, Bella. Please, for me," I plead.

She looks up at me for the first time. "Alice, I love you. But you're not enough to live for. Nothing is, not without him."

An unexpected voice speaks, and I sigh in relief.

"I'll always be here for you," he admits. "Bella, it was all a lie. Make the change. Do whatever you want. I don't have any control over you, they're right. I gave that up. It's your choice. I'll still love you… no matter what."

_You see the words before she can say them, so they don't shock you… but that of course has no effect on the pain._

"I don't believe you."

"Bella…"

"But I'll make the change. Do it, Carlisle. Right now. Bite me, kill me, change me… I don't care what the outcome is. Make me forget."

"The pain, Bella…" he cautions.

She laughs aloud. It is utterly unexpected, a hysterical, unnatural sound that she is not forcing, but nonetheless should never have escaped.

After a few minutes of cackling, she wipes away tears from her face. "Funny little vampire. The pain! You think I don't know how to… how to…"

_"Deal with pain… it's so much…"_

I finish the sentence for her as the hysterics overwhelm again. "Deal with pain. She's been through more than any transformation could entail. You can't possibly imagine what she's been through…"

And the look in his eyes breaks off my train of thought. He positively glares at me. "Yes, Alice. Yes, I can."

"Were you hurt too? Who hurt you?" she asks, oddly childlike.

"Oh, Bella," he sighs, kneeling beside her. He strokes her face gently, apparently shocked when she shudders and turns away. "Bella, I've never known greater pain than the day I had to leave you."

"I don't believe you," she whispers in a monotone.

Neither do I… well, I know it is no lie, but in her place I wouldn't put my trust in him. I don't blame Bella for her reaction.

_Screaming and screaming and screaming. You assume it's the change, but you know what they say. When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me._

_ You chuckle at your own dark joke. Yes. It's not the change, not at all._

_ "I won't change you," he mutters fiercely. "I can't have you live forever."_

_ She screams. "NO!" _

_ And then is silent. You know she will never speak again…_

_ The same wind-whipped cliff, the same dark tangle of hair, the same falling broken soul. Only this time you aren't there. You are miles away, seeing, and utterly unable to fix it, to tell her, "No, he loves you, it was all a lie, don't do it…" _

_ You see her jump, and though you know it will tear your family apart forever, you can't bring yourself to regret the end to her pain._

"There we go," I conclude. "Consent. Well, let's get this done, Carlisle."

Edward moans. Carlisle comfortingly pats him on the shoulder, while my only reassurance is a glare.

Your own damn fault.

You left her, you broke her heart. Like Emmett, like Rose, like Esme, so torn that only the change could make them live… her wound isn't physical but it goes just as deep. This is the only way to heal her, and if you don't like it, Edward Cullen, it's your own damn fault.

Carlisle looks around. "Bella, are you sure?"

She nods tautly.

"Edward, bring me the morphine," he commands. "It's in my bag."

I know it's probably strange that we keep very strong meds in our household as a regular thing, but believe me, there have been far more illegal items at times. Like unregistered weapons. And drugs. And lots of stolen cars. Not to mention the _vampires. _

Edward stands to get the bag, leaving me alone with my father, sister, and a sudden strong strange vision.

_The hair blows, even though he's inside. There are no screams from downstairs, but you feel their absence. It is during the change. And the bronze-haired boy is miserable. He scrabbles through the bag, finally finding a sharp instrument of some kind. The silver blade glints in his hand._

_ He smiles at it ruefully, and, before you comprehend, swings the blade down. It makes clattering contact with his wrist._

_ The blade shatters and flies off into the wall. He swears. _

_ Another knife. It's even sharper, even shinier, in a white packet to keep out all contaminants. This one he stares at for a second and then places delicately against his rock hard skin. After an instant, he slices down, hard and fast._

_ The edge crumbles into a million pieces. Another vile curse._

_ There is a long low moan from downstairs. It is her, the girl he loves, the one he needs and has taken himself from, probably forever._

_ The thought torments him mercilessly. He has one more instrument at his disposal, and he needs to find a way to rid himself of the pain. The boy bends back his wrist and bares his teeth._

_ The glistening white sharp points are jabbed into the rock that calls itself skin, and he screams, halfway between ecstasy, agony, and relief._

"Um, Carlisle?" I begin.

"Yes, Alice?"

"You might want to keep Edward away from the scalpels for the next couple of days," I suggest mildly. He sighs gravely and sets Bella down on a soft pillow. She doesn't relax, of course. "And his teeth. That too."  
"Really?"

"Really. Apparently, vampires can now go emo too!"

Bella moans. Carlisle looks at her. "Are you ready for this?"

She nods with vigor.

"Isn't there anything I can get you?" A shake.

"A last meal?" he asks. She shakes her head, wincing as though mildly nauseated.

"She doesn't eat," I whisper. His hands fly to his mouth in a silent exclamation of pity and shock.

Edward returns, black bag in hand. He gives it to Carlisle, who sets up an intravenous drip to combat the agony. The medication is all prepared. She lies there, ready. I am watching, and the future seems unshakable. Edward stands helplessly. There is nothing he can do. Everything is ready for the way it always had to be, and I am so relieved. The path to eternity together is clear for them now. Only one thing remains, and that's the bite. One little action… to seal their destiny.

Carlisle smiles, baring his teeth, and then bends. His teeth are less than an inch from Bella's skin when Edward screams.

"Stop!"

For a brief moment, Carlisle does, than realizes it is no more than a ploy for time. He ignores his son, turning back to the still-comatose Bella. Edward cries out again, but he is unheeded…

_"Please. Just let me do it. Please," he whispers, and you- both the envisioned and actual forms- glare at him. How _dare _he? Does he not know all his opinions in this… are gone? He has no right…_

_ "What?" An expectable confusion. He shouldn't be able to confound this way. It's utterly beyond any belief, that he should ask this, at this late date._

_ "Let me change her, Carlisle. I want to be the one…" He sounds so genuine._

_ "How do I know you'll really do it?"_

_ "I can't… I can't… please."_

_ There's no proof, though, and you suspect he might rather kill her than see her changed. "Don't, Carlisle. He'd kill her."_

_ "Do you doubt my restraint? I did it once. I can do it again."_

_ You'd seen these arguments before. It is a sweet irony that he takes her part, the same bitter discussion they'd had so many times, only before he was the one speaking your words, and she his. "Not that. I doubt your motivation."_

_ He growls, but you still don't believe him…_

_ Until you see something else, something much, much more convincing, and it's sudden and sure. You _know _this is coming true. It's solid. It's practically real already. It is a decision that can change… but probably won't._

_ You see his teeth in her neck, deeply wedged, but he doesn't drink. She screams in pain. It is not, however, a death scream. It is agony. The pain of the venom… and the desperate pained sound is tinged with relief. _

_ 'Thank God,' it says. 'Thank God for this pain, this pain that is real, this pain that will go away, this pain that will bring beauty, bring eternity, bring _him,_ thank God.'_

_ You can read it as clearly as if you, like him, could see her thoughts. _

_ She screams as he keeps his teeth in the soft flesh of her skin, not drinking, just letting the venom seep through her veins. He shakes from the restraint necessary, but he never truly wavers._

_ She begins to tremble as hard as he does. _

_ The blonde calm man speaks. "Enough, Edward. You've done as much as you can. It will be over quickly. You've… you've done well."_

_ It is the first thing the father has said to his son since the boy left the girl._

_ He pulls away. His teeth are as white as her skin, glistening with sweet venom, stained with her blood… but he doesn't even lick these harmless droplets. Instead, he looks down at her, tenderly stroking a cheek._

_ "Bella," he whispers._

_ She stiffens and screams, her whole body turning hard into a rigid spasm. Then she suddenly calms and replies to his affectionate murmur, "Edward, Edward, thank you."_

_ "You're in so much pain."_

_ She shakes her head. She'd laugh, but the agony prevents that. Instead, she says, entirely to herself, "At least… I've been through worse. It's… not… as… bad…"_

_ He is unsure whether to be relieved or heartbroken. What he's put her through…_

_ Not now, before. Finally, it occurs to him, as she trembles in his arms, his venom seeping through her last heartbeat how much he's put her through._

_ Finally, he's sorry._

"Let him explain," I say, and Carlisle hesitates.

"Alice… are you sure? Are you sure you want to give him this next chance? How do you know he won't…"

_Her dark hair, turned closer to black than brown…_

_ "You're right, brown is warm…"_

_ By her infinite grief and sorrow. It swings beyond her shoulder, her throat pale… horror has made her a creature of opposites. He strokes the neck twice and bares his teeth. It is a familiar image. And it is the precursor to what you've just seen, the same scenario, only a little earlier, chronologically. The future has not changed._

_ He raises his head and howls a moan of grief and pain._

_ Then he lowers his head forcefully. You _hear _the skin break._

_ A great crash._

_ A breaking._

_ A falling._

_ An agony._

_ A relief._

_ She screams. It is more pleasure than pain. _

_ He loves her, and he's proved it…_

_ The world is dark, but they are bright. No sun illuminates their skin. But their hearts shine through that thin material, setting the whole clearing ablaze with the love that glows within them. He takes her hand and she smiles._

_ Though her skin is paler from the change, it looks healthier, more robust, better than the sickly pallor she possessed before. The hair has returned to the soft brown luster, and though her touch is cold her soul is warm again, not drowning in the icy flame of abandonment. She has been changed- no, restored. She is what she was, and will be forever…_

"He won't," I say, utterly certain. "I know it."

His eyes meet mine. I try not to wince at the pain so narrowly veiled within them. It is easy to be sucked into his guilt and grief, looking into those stone eyes.

"Thank you, Alice."

Carlisle smiles at us both, not from happiness, but simple politeness. "Well, Edward? Are you going to explain?"

"Carlisle… let me do it."

He gasps at those words. I do not- I was, of course, expecting them. I anticipate so much of what happens.

"Why?"  
"I need it to be me. I need to make her mine… to prove… Carlisle, when I left I said I didn't love her. I need to prove it isn't true, Carlisle. I need to show her I love her, by giving her what she wanted from the first."

It is like a perfectly delivered line. I would doubt it, but the future doesn't change. It is still…

_He does not drink, does not succumb to temptation. Nor does he pull away, attempt to rid himself of the painful desire. He simply sits with his teeth in her throat and changes her, slowly, surely, gently. He loves her. It is obvious, and this tortuous pain is as gentle as a caress with that knowledge…_

"Let him do it, Carlisle," I urge. "Let him try. The future is sure."

Carlisle looks doubtful.

"I can handle the temptation," Edward says.

"It isn't your bloodlust I'm worried about, son. No, I think there's another temptation… answer me one question, honestly, and I'll let you change her. Do you think if you do she'll lose her soul?"

"Yes… or rather no. No, I don't think she can lose her soul, because, Carlisle, I think she's lost it already."

It's true. I know it, absolutely. She is soulless. Empty. "She didn't lose it, Edward."

"No, she didn't. I took it when I left. Bella, my love, if I'd known, if I'd had any idea… I never would have left you."

This thought is painful to her, apparently. She screams. "DON'T!"  
"What? Do you not want me to love you?" He winces as he speaks.

"Don't make me hope! If I hope… it'll… it'll kill me."

Her voice is so weak and frail. My poor sister. My idiot brother. I could kill him for killing her like this…

_Dead. Not just empty, but actually dead… if only she had the strength to move, this would be the future. And the rage she's feeling now is giving her the strength._

_ Running. Her hair flailing out behind her, her whole body a wave of unstoppable furious motion. You are faster than her, of course you are, but not by enough, not with her rage and pain twin fantastic motivators._

_ And she runs, runs, straight into the closest death she can find._

_ You are anticipating the crash. What don't you anticipate? And yet still you recoil in shock and horror when you hear the crunch of her bones breaking beneath the Jeep's wheels…_

"Do it now!" I scream.

"What?"

"You have to do it now!"

"Why?"

I try to explain…

_She has to get away. She has to, she can't live, she can't she has to die. Please let her die please don't make her live not like this._

_ "Edward I love you," she whispers in a single intonation, like a prayer, like a dream, and she runs._

_ You follow half-heartedly. You know what will happen. You can't catch her. You can't stop her. She's going to die._

_ She's made her mind up about it._

_ And who are you to take that choice away from her? It's what she wants… the only thing she wants. She deserves it._

_ She deserves less pain, not more._

_ Her hair streams in the cool air of the dark night. You watch the headlights careen down the street, the driver clearly intoxicated. She sees- and she doesn't care._

_ The inches close in now. Despite your intent, a word escapes your lips- "Bella! No!"_

_ She turns and smiles at you, a lying mockery of a smile, and you are seeing that and not the car when the impact comes…_

"Faster!" I holler at him. "Bite her this instant!"

"I need to hunt first, to get ready… I can't kill her."

"Every minute you wait you're killing her."

"I can't lose her. I _love her._"

These words are the catalyst. The pained form of Bella moves from its huddle on the floor. "How can you lie like that?" she whispers. "How can you lie so much… and why do I still love you?"

The accusation stays in the air. No one can answer it. Her eyes dart around desperately, and she seizes her only opportunity.

Bella stands, and, as I scream, runs.

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	6. Chapter 6

**REVIEW!**

Edward grabs her in an instant. "Bella, don't, for God's sake don't, don't, don't… don't leave me."

She struggles. It is clear she wants still to die, that she doesn't believe or trust in him. I can't blame her. But she grows limp, incapable of movement with the pain overwhelming her again. "No…" she moans. "I can't leave you."

_"I could never leave you, Edward. It's always you who leaves me. Why can't you see that? Why don't you know that? Why don't you understand that? I can't leave you, because I love you. Oh, you say it's because you're so goddamn selfless. Well, look were selflessness has gotten us, huh? Would you? Cause it doesn't look so freaking great to me, Edward. In fact, it is pretty damn awful." _

_ You've never heard her swear before. Of course, she is alone in her room. No one can hear the words pouring out, the lecture of agony. It is delivered to a mirror, to empty space. Nonetheless, it is the truth. And you hear._

_ "Yeah. I don't know when it started being impossible for me to live without you. But it is. I need you, Edward. I can't live without you. Can you understand that? No. You can't. Because you have this stupid idea you need me so much more than I need you, like you're the one who loves me, like I don't love you. Well, which one of us walked away? Which one of us told what you claim is a lie? It sure wasn't me."_

_ She looks into his eyes even though he isn't there, peers into the soul he doesn't think exists, and laughs hysterically. "It sure as hell wasn't me."…_

"Edward, bite her now. This instant."

"Why?"

"Because she… she doesn't believe you. And she will if you just do it. Just take away her memories and her mortality. One little bite."

"But she has so much to live for!"

This time Bella and I laugh together. "Right… have I told you you're an idiot, lately? She has nothing to live for. She'd commit suicide, but she's too depressed, Edward. I think that should be a pretty compelling argument toward changing her."

"Bella…"

She, in a last desperate move, throws her head back. Her throat is exposed. The smell wafts toward me, hideous temptation. The scent, so sweet, catches in my nose. I grit my teeth.

Edward can't resist it. She has played her trump card, she has taken her last power.

He lowers his teeth to her neck, almost gently, and slips them in her throat like a caress. Through the furor of my bloodlust, I note how easily his teeth part her pale skin, like a hot knife cutting through butter.

She doesn't react at all to the pain I know must have immediately set in. Instead, she moves her neck further up, cutting it deeper into his teeth.

A drop of blood rolls down his skin, red against white, and he laps it up before biting her again.

"Yes," she moans. "That's right. Kill me."

There is a moment, a long, horrible, moment, in which I think he isn't going to stop. He is gone too far. He's going to kill her, and I can't stop him. If I move, it will be to sink my teeth into her throat- it is all I can do to stand here and _not do anything. _

"Carlisle," I whisper urgently, but he shakes his head…

_"Why didn't you stop him? She didn't have to die."_

_ The blond man smiles. It is a smile full of tears. His daughter did not have to die. But he let her. "Because. It was Edward's decision."_

_ "He had no right to kill her!"_

_ "She was his mate, Alice, every bit as much as Jasper is yours. It's his right to choose what he wants…"_

_ "What he wants to _do _with her? Doesn't Bella get a say?"_

_ "Bella chose to die, Alice." His tone is gentle, as always. But the words bite into you._

_ "Only because he'd already killed her."_

_ "Would you force him to stay with her?"_

_ "I wouldn't let him make such a dumb mistake!"  
"It was his mistake to make, Alice. His choice. His failing. It isn't your fault, or his fault, or her fault. It just is."_

_ You can't agree with that. "It _is _his fault."_

_ "No." He smiles kindly. "No, it isn't, Alice. He only did what he had to do. Edward is the way he is… he honestly believes he has no soul."_

_ "I agree with him," you growl._

_ "No, you don't. You dislike him at the moment. But he's your brother, and in your heart, Alice, in your soul, you know he was right, that he had every right, that he did exactly what he had to do. That's what all our choices come down to in the end. We act based on our genetics and our upbringing."_

_ "You're wrong, Carlisle."_

_ "What?"_

_ "Deeply wrong. Oh, on the surface maybe. But we have to act like a murderer is accountable for his crime, like a child or a man knows his actions, like Edward can be blamed."_

_ He flinches. You are relentless._

_ "You don't want to hear it. But it is so true. That's how you excused changing him, isn't it? All the terrible things he did weren't his fault or yours either, because nothing is anyone's fault, all because of some cause too far back to even trace. But it is nothing more than a fairytale. We have to blame people for what they do, Carlisle, or the world will fall apart. I blame him. I blame him, I blame him, I blame him. He killed her, and it's no one's fault but his, and mine, and yours, and hers… but mostly his…"_

"Carlisle, please."

No reaction. I didn't expect one.

I start to move forward, and then I feel the hunger stirring in me, my throat closing in, the venom pooling in my teeth, burning as I swallow it down my dry throat… I can't do this. I can't save her.

Bella screams.

Edward is gone. He is nothing but a dark head attached to her throat, sucking away her life.

I can't watch this. I am so powerless. And then, the moment ends.

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	7. Chapter 7

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He pulls away suddenly. "Bella… you are going to live," Edward insists.

"No…" she groans.

His eyes are wild. "Did I go too far? How much blood did I take? I'm a monster… will she ever… oh, God. Will she… _die…_"

_You watch her awaken. Her eyes open. They are as rich and red as blood. Some drops of that do linger on her white throat, but it is clearly that which colors her eyes._

_ She stares at him. "Edward…" she moans. _

_ "Bella, my love!" he exclaims._

_ "Edward…"_

_ "Yes, my angel?"_

_ He has to prod her along- she is unwilling to talk. She purses her lips and shakes her head._

_ "Bella, sweetest, please talk to me," he pleads._

_ "Edward…"_

_ "I love to hear you say my name, love, but can you tell me what you are thinking?"_

_ "Edward, you are in so much trouble."_

_ "What?"_

_ He does a double take._

_ "Well, you were _supposed _to kill me."_

_ You laugh at his consternation. Your sister is back…_

"She'll live," I inform Edward. He breathes a visible sigh of relief.

"Oh, dear God in heaven, thank you for your mercy…"

"Yeah, pray some other time. Carlisle, get some morphine, please."

"Will it help?" he asks…

_You honestly can't tell. Her screams are definitely quiet. But you can hear her murmuring, softly, "Don't scream. You've been through worse," or something that sounds distinctly like that phrase, over and over again. You watch her lips move, watch her legs stiffen in the pain, watch her limbs shake, but it doesn't seem like the absolute agony you were led to expect._

_No, it isn't as bad as it should be. No, you can't determine the cause. It could simply be her bravery. Then again, it could be the fact that she's drugged to the gills. You take a whiff of the air. Beyond the odd smell of her blood- half her own sweet scent, half the strange burning coolness of your own kind- you can smell the drug distinctively…_

"Yes. Drug her up."

Edward groans and falls to his knees. A scream pierces the air as he does so, as if in response. It is Bella, of course, her agony redoubled as he sees her and suffers at her side.

"Edward, out."

"What?"

"Leave. Until she comes back."

He growls at me. "No. I'm never leaving her again."

"What good can you do?"

He looks around helplessly, apparently attempting to pull a good reason out of thin air. "I… I don't want her to think I will leave her again."

"She does, Edward. Sticking around to torture yourself won't do any good."

He meets my eyes. I can see the red in his irises. Carlisle puts a hand on Edward's shoulder. "Alice is right. You need to go."

"But she gets to stay?"

"No. I and I alone will stay here with Bella. Alice will be with Jasper."

"_What? _You need me here! I can see the future!"

"And I can read minds."

"Not Bella's!"

"Alice." Carlisle's voice is quite calm. "It isn't fair to Edward."

_Not my fault. He gave up fair,_ I mutter in my head. He flinches.

But the two of us go as commanded.

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	8. Chapter 8

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"Mm… Jazz."

"I love you, Alice."

"I love you too."

"Mm."

"You knew that."

"Good to hear, anyway."

"'s true. Good to hear from you, too."

"You're a poet and you don't even know it."

"No, that was intentional."

"I love you."

"You've mentioned that once or twice."

"You make me laugh. No one else can do that. You know something, darling? I think I don't remember laughing until I met you."

"That's sort of sad, Jazz."

"It's infectious- quite literally. I can hardly help but laugh when I'm around you- you're so full of joy and mirth yourself. And your happiness is so strong. It affects me more than anyone else's emotions. I'm always happy around you."

"Not right now, particularly."

"No."

"I'm sorry about that, Jazz. I know it's getting to you, all the worry and stress, and my sorrow…"

"It's not your fault."

"No, it's my idiot brother's. God. How could he do that to her?"

"I understand it. Alice, if I thought… if I thought your life was in danger, I would do anything."

"For you… the world, Jasper. You know that. For you, anything. But he isn't doing this for her!"  
"Yes, he is. It's stupid. It was a mistake, and a big one. But he only did what he felt he had to do. In Edward's opinion, it's the best decision he ever made, albeit not in retrospect. But hindsight is twenty-twenty, love. He can't change what he did. At the time…"

"Doesn't he know her at all?"

"No."

"But he loves her."

"Yes."

"How is that possible?"

"You don't have to understand someone to love them. I loved you from the moment I saw you, Alice. And I didn't have a clue who you were. We both know that."  
"But… but…"

"Dearest, he didn't want to hurt her. He wanted to protect her. He honestly believed he loved her infinitely more than she loved him, that she couldn't possibly return his affection in anything like the same way he gave it."

"That's ludicrous."

"Is it? She's human. She doesn't… she's a whole different species."

"Well, that's sort of icky."

"Not _totally. _She's… different, though, you know that. Human emotions aren't permanent like ours. Vampires' relationships don't change. You and I will love each other for all eternity. Carlisle and Esme. Emmett and Rosalie. Even James and Victoria were that way, with a permanence… she loved him so much…"

"Edward and Bella belong on that list of yours, Jazz. You know it. She's one of us."

"She will be soon, anyway."

"No. She was already. From the moment Edward loved her, even before he knew it himself, she was a Cullen, a member of our family. She's one of us. For eternity. Her place is with us, her family, and she has every bit as much right to stay with us and to have her pain avenged by us as Edward. She doesn't deserve to be hurt this way. She is a member of our family. She's Edward's mate, Jasper. He may get to make the decisions about some parts of their future, but he can't change the fact that gives him the right to make those choices."

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	9. Chapter 9

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Three days pass slowly and painfully. I wince with each tick of the clock, each vision- the future does not change. I may not be able to comfort Bella, but I am there with her, at her side.

_Screams pierce the air, loud and clear, burning with the sound._

_ "Shh…" he comforts. But he is not soothing to her- his gentleness isn't what she needs. She loves him, yes, but not the only way that can get through this pain. He's as good as her father, yes, but that can't stop the fact that her agony burns through her veins, sets her on fire._

_ "Sorry, Carlisle," she gasps. "I'm trying."_

_ "You're doing well. Edward-"_

_ And then the bravery disappears. At the sound of his name, her screams grow louder than they ever were before, fiery and painful, unforgettable in the ferocity of their agony. _

_ "I'm sorry, Bella. But it was… the only way."_

_ "Don't be sorry. This is what I wanted, Carlisle, all along- now I can chase him forever. Maybe in a thousand years I can be…" she chokes on her on breath, her monologue freezing as she stiffens, spasms, as her limbs shake and sweat drips down her face. The transformation is strong for a brief while, bad enough that she can't talk. Then the moment of doubled pain stops. "I can be good enough." _

_ "You are, Bella. You are."_

_ "Then why did he leave me?" she accuses. It hangs in the air, a question he can't answer. Not because he doesn't know, but because this isn't his place, his purpose, his job. He's a doctor and a father, mature, experienced- but he isn't her love. And only the one she loves can ask recompense for his own terrible failure. _

_ "Bella, it's not my… I can't tell you that."_

_ "Because you don't want me to hear the truth. Well I know it. I know it, I know it more than I know anything else in this world, it's the truth, it's simple fact… he doesn't love me."_

_ The blonde, kind man gasps. "Bella…"_

_ "I can shout it to the skies. It doesn't hurt any worse than just knowing it. He doesn't love me!"_

_ "Quiet!"_

_ "Why? I'm just sharing a fact with the nice people. I'm sure they'll be grateful to know the facts. He DOESN'T LOVE ME!" she hollers, louder than any of her screams._

_ Your father embraces his child, gently smoothing her hair. "Bella, be quiet, please."_

_ "He… he doesn't… he doesn't love… me…" she sobs. The man comforts her._

_ "He does."_

_ "NO! HE DOESN'T!" And she's screaming again. _

_ Shockingly, your father puts a hand over her mouth, forcing her silent. It is so very unlike him to be violent, ever, at all. You gasp aloud, watching. "Yes, he does."_

_ Her tears grow louder, hysterical. His eyes are filled with guilt at what he's done to make her quiet. "I'm sorry, Bella…"_

_ But he isn't. That much the man has to agree with, that no matter how much she is ignorant of his no-matter-how-genuine love, he doesn't regret causing this pain._

_ He still thinks he did right. The fool…_

Edward is dead. I am going to kill him… very… very… very slowly!

_"She's awake…" says the man, into the cell phone. You can almost make out the other end of the conversation. _

_ "She is? Is she all right?"_

_ "I wouldn't go that far."_

_ "What's wrong?"_

_ A heavy sigh- "Isn't it obvious?"…_

"Alice?" Jasper usually doesn't interrupt when I'm Seeing, but sometimes he can see the troubled expression. Akin to the time, just a few months ago, when I saw a strange girl suffering horrible, horrible things (the memory still makes me shudder) Jasper knew me well enough to see the fear and horror on my face and wake me. His power comes in handy.

I suppose he saw the intensity and sorrow in my vision. "Bella's one of us now. Come on, please. We have to go."

He can be around her now, since she no longer smells sweet, will no longer be such an exquisite temptation to him. She is safe- and immortal. She can be with Edward forever.

Of course, there's still the problem of the emotional climate, but I hope that can be ignored enough so that we can go back. "Jazz… you're okay to go, right? I know it'll be hard."

He laughs. "Darling, I can handle it… for you. Anything for you."

"I know." I flounce, teasing, and he laughs.

"How I love you." He kisses my forehead, takes my hand, "Let's go, my love."

We walk out of the room we've rented…

_"No, Carlisle. Not to me, at least."_

_ The boy is intentionally ignoring it, you can see that clearly. He doesn't want to admit to himself his own failure. _

_ "She is _physically _completely healthy, like every vampire ever."_

_ "Good," he says, and you hear such groundless relief in his voice. Doesn't he see? How can he not comprehend that a broken heart cannot be healed with a little bit of venom?_

_ "I didn't say she was doing well," your father corrects, and you approve, wholeheartedly, of the sternness in his voice. It is a reprimand that is deserved- and yet his recipient doesn't seem to comprehend._

_ "What do you mean?" he says, and there's no accusation, only bewilderment, in his voice. _

_ "I mean that she hasn't forgotten. The only time she screamed…"_

_ He claps his hands over his ears. "Don't."_

_ Though it is the primary trait in his character, the blonde man shows no mercy. "You need to hear this, Edward. The only time she screamed during the transformation was when she was thinking about you… and… and she kept saying, over and over and over, 'he doesn't love me,' so loud that I had to hold her down to keep her from shouting so everyone could hear."_

_ Your brother winces. "I really hurt her."_

_ And you nod, in satisfaction. He understands. Thank God…_

I cling to Jasper's hand on our way there. The run is brief- it takes some time for me to synchronize my step with Jazz's, given the difference in our heights, but we manage, after so much time together.

The sound of our supernatural footsteps in time is soothing, and I need it desperately. Because I know, I know, the far-from-peaceful noises made by the second most important person in my life.

"AHHH!" The scream comes and then… silence. Nothing pierces the peace of the air. Bella is finally quiet, finally at rest.

I barge in the door. "Hello, all," I chirp. Bella looks up at me.

"Hi, Alice," she whispers, and I gasp.

I've never seen anyone more beautiful in my whole entire life. Not even Rose compares to this, my newly remade sister. The red glints in her hair. Her eyes, always large, are even bigger now, a bright crimson, the color of blood…

_Thirst, consuming, burning… "I need him. I need his _blood, _Alice, please!" she begs you, her eyes widening._

_ "La tua cantante…" you hiss under your breath, watching her eyes follow the man as you keep her pinned down. Emmett has her arms, you have her legs. Edward is nowhere to be found, and that worries the watching-part, the bit of your consciousness that knows what's going on, that this is a vision._

_ Where is he? He should be here with you._

_ Experimentally you say, "What would Edward think?"_

_ She snarls. "Don't be cruel, Alice."_

_ Emmett glowers at you. Bella continues to hiss. "Damn, Alice, that's mean. Don't ya know it hurts her when you talk about our idiot brother?"_

_ "What… I'm sorry…"_

_ "Edward..." Bella whispers, and pushes past you to lunge for the blood…_

"You look lovely," I manage.

She stands, slowly, trying out her new body as she waddles towards me. It is hard, but she manages the few steps and them embraces me. "Alice," she breathes. "God, I missed you."

"When I was a human," I say, "they locked me up for the visions. I looked up my past, while you were in that place. My parents told everyone I'd died. They gave me shock treatments…"

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I just thought you should know," I said. In fact, I was testing her- did she remember, did she know her own life? "It's the news I have to share."

"Alice, where's Edward?" she asks.

"On his way, I'm sure… hang on." I close my eyes and…

_Hurtling towards us, a blur of white and red-brown and ferocious beauty like a lion hunting, his limbs long and rushing, impossible to see with the speed of his movements… "Hang on, love. I'm almost there," he whispers, and runs faster, runs to meet her, runs to beg her forgiveness…_

"Yeah. On his way."

"Alice… what happened… I don't… I don't… remember."

"What's the last thing you remember?" I ask.

"I remember… when Edward…" and she started to sob. "I remember when he left."

Damn. That totally… the whole point of this was so she wouldn't remember, so that this couldn't hurt her, so that she'd be safe and happy and…

"He doesn't love me, Alice," she said, shaking her head. "He doesn't love me. I don't know how I'm going to survive the rest of eternity knowing this like I do, that he doesn't love me."

"Bella, you asked to be changed. You aren't… Edward… Edward loves you, Bella. He left because he didn't want to hurt you."

"That's incredibly stupid," she whispered. "Can't you come up with a better lie than that?"

"Truth, Isabella Swan, is stranger than fiction."

Bella sighs and puts her radiant head in her hands. "Alice, I can't believe that. I can't believe he would love me…" I can see the pain on her face, the tears she can no longer shed. It isn't debilitating any longer, the agony. No, now it's merely torture, merely a sharp harsh pain that doesn't quite obliterate all else but still torments her with aching hateful hurt.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I never should have left. Edward told us not to go looking for you, but I can't believe I listened to him."

"Why did you?"

"You're… his mate, Bella. For real, now that you're a vampire. Forever. You're meant to be together. If Jazz left me, it wouldn't be, say, Carlisle's place to stay with me. Or go with him. It's not… we have family loyalties, but our strongest loyalty is to our partner. The center of my existence is Jasper. The center of Edward's existence is…"

"No."

"What?" I am perplexed by that one little word, that simple denial.

"Don't lie to me. I can't stand it. He lied to me, again and again, every time he said I was beautiful, and that he wanted me, and that he wished he could be with me forever…"

"Those weren't lies, Bella."

"No," she whispers. "NO."

"He loves you more than life itself…"

"No, Alice. Just… don't, please."

I bow my head in silence. "All right. I won't. But when he gets here, he will…"

"Thank you," she says…

_He stops running. His frantic pace slows to a walk, but it is a fast one. His footfalls dash against the ground, his eyes wide, full of anticipation. He holds his jaw tense, full of fury._

_ He will not grow mad, no matter what has happened to her. It will not be easy, seeing her like this… soulless, cold, empty._

_ Just like him. _

_ It will not be easy, because he'll have to admit two things._

_ First, he will have to release the stubborn belief in his own damnedness. He will have to let go, to admit that there is a chance he can go to heaven too, or believe his angel is damned, and you are certain that he will not be able to stand that thought. He will thus have to restructure his own stubborn beliefs._

_ And in doing that, he has only one choice. He has to face what he did to her._

_ She was already damned, doomed, trapped in a body with no soul. He took that soul from her when he left, reduced her to nothing, and he will have to face it._

_ He broke her heart in so many ways, and he has yet to admit it to himself. He still thinks he did the right thing._

_ When he sees her, and knows she had to be changed, he will have to admit he did not._

_ He walks up the steps. The doorbell rings…_

I smile. "Well, you don't have to wait very long to discuss it. Edward's here!"

She freezes as the doorbell rings.

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	10. Chapter 10

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"Bella… should I get it?"

"I need to see him," she says, very weakly. I stand and get the door. Edward, to no one's surprise, certainly not mine, is standing there, head bowed, eyes closed.

"May I come in?" he says, with a tone I can only describe as humility.

"Let me ask Bella," I respond…

_"Alice Cullen, if you don't let him in this instant I will never, never, never forgive you!"_

"Bella says yes."

Edward brushes past me. "Then nothing can stop me."

"Oh, you romantic fool, you…" I mutter under my breath. He hears, and freezes. "Go on," I say. "The sooner you get to her, the more chance you're ever going to be forgiven."

He sprints towards her.

I _really _want to know what happens- but I have an advantage. I decide to take the polite approach. I close my eyes and See…

_"Hello, Bella," he says, very simply._

_ Her response is only a moan. Well, at least she isn't screaming anymore. You suppose the change did some good after all, even if all it allows her is to move and to whimper a little._

_ "My love…" _

_ She clamps her hands over her ears. Despite this childlike response, the girl speaks very calmly, "Please. I don't know what Alice told you, but I don't want to hear lies. I am in very vast amounts of pain, but I'm not stupid, and a lie doesn't help."_

_ "I am _not _lying to you," he says, almost angry, his voice perfectly level._

_ "You don't love me, Edward." _

_ Almost, she manages to get the words out without shuddering. Her voice only breaks once. It is quite admirable. They are practically without emotion, let alone the agony you can see twisting her new face._

_ "Yes, I do," he insists. _

_ "No, you don't."_

_ He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Let me explain, please. Just listen, for a while, love. All right? Let me tell you of my mistake, of the one thing I want more than anything else… let this sinner confess. Let me make my excuses. And then you can tell me how you will never forgive me."_

_ She closes her blood-red eyes and shakes her head- contradicting his last words, not his request. She's already forgiven him, no, she never blamed him. "All right." And she keeps her eyes closed, trying to hide from the pain._

_ "Bella… how do I say this? What can I do… it seems… Bella, I love you. I know you don't believe me, but it is the truth. I love you, and I always have loved you, and there's nothing for me except to love you. You are the reason for my existence. And I always will love you, Bella. When I said I didn't want you, I was… I was telling the very cruelest, the very darkest lie that has ever been said. I don't just want you in every way all the time- I also need you, with me, beside me. I have been in absolute agony without you, my love, and even though I know I am not forgiven, my pain is relieved, merely from being with you." His flow of words stops short, and he looks at her. Slowly she opens her eyes and turns to stare at him. _

_ You can't see her expression, merely the brown waterfall of her hair. But you can hear the over-articulation of her words as she says, "Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, that is complete and utter bullshit."_

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	11. Chapter 11

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Well, that didn't go as well as I'd hoped. However, I can hold out a little hope. Bella couldn't be expected to give up right away, not after the strength of the way in which she'd internalized the reality of his abandonment. The one thing she believes, above anything else in the world, is that Edward never had and never could love her.

She can't change that so easily, not as easily as we changed her.

But Edward won't give up on a moment's notice, either. No, he really loves her, really needs her.

He'll keep trying…

_"I love you."_

_ "I don't believe you," she whispers._

_ "Why not?"_

_ "If I believe you, you'll just hurt me again, Edward. I can't trust you. I can't let you make me believe this stupid lie so that when you leave I can die all over again!" _

_ His eyes darken, not the color, but the soul behind them, in pain. "Bella, I'll never leave you again. I don't expect you to forgive me. I certainly don't expect you to love me. But I will be here, waiting, hoping we can be at least friends after a while…"_

_ "I am _not _going to be friends with you."_

_ "I didn't expect it…"_

_ "I couldn't stand that. Being in your presence, looking at you, being so close to you, and knowing… it would…" _

_ His fists clench, and the dark eyes lighten with hope, filling the room with the strength of it, though he does try to hold back the feeling. "What? You want to be… Bella, is there any chance, even a shadow of a prayer, that you still love me?"_

_ You, watching this exchange, realize something. He is truly an idiot. He doesn't just have excessively poor judgment (re: leaving the love of his life) but he can't see the ridiculously clear evidence before him._

_ The girl clearly shares your low opinion of his intellect. She laughs, a monosyllabic little bark of a laugh. "Naw. I don't even like you. That's why I was hospitalized as catatonic because of the sheer strength of my grief response. I mean, that makes sense, and everything. What kind of idiotic question is that?"_

_ "Please, Bella. Please answer," he practically begs, and she was always a sucker for that, for the way he flutters his eyelashes at her like a teenage girl trying to flirt her way out of trouble._

_ "I love you. I always have. I always will. Whether you like it or not, I love you. No matter how hard you try to break me of it, I love you! I'll never love anyone else. So come play your little games with my heart, but know I adore you, and you… you kill me when you leave…"_

_ Guilt flashes across his face. And then something stronger. "I love you, you know. And that's all I want to hear. I left you, Bella, because I didn't want to hurt you. You deserved a real life, and you couldn't have that with me there, holding you back."_

_ "Couldn't live without you, either."_

_ "I'm so sorry," he whispers… _

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	12. Chapter 12

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_ And you see her smile. It is faint, and uncertain. But it is nonetheless distinctly a smile. "Edward…" she hesitates._

_ "Yes, my love?"_

_ The last word makes her wince, but only a little. "Why did you change me, Edward?"_

_ "Because… Alice said I should."_

_ She looks away._

Well, technically it was the truth. He'd done it on my request… but I still thought it wouldn't have been a terrible idea for him to keep his fat mouth shut and say one of his typically adorable mushy romantic things so she'd swoon into his arms and all this trouble would be over…

_"Is that all? Because your sister wanted you to?"_

_ He gently touches her face, as softly as his hand can make contact, almost as though he treats her still as a breakable human, that one caress could kill her. "No. Bella, I changed you because… I love you. I always wanted to be with you forever. I just thought it wasn't right, couldn't be right."_

_ "Do you see now? How much it's cost us both? How much we…"_

_ "Need each other? Love each other?'_

_ She closes her eyes. "Yes."_

_ "Does this mean you forgive me, love?" he asks, hopeful. Sort of. You can sense the same doubt in his words as once she had in hers, as she still does when she says,_

_ "Prove it."_

_ He smiles. "Really? Do you really wish me to prove I love you, my dearest soul?"_

_ "If you can."_

_ You see before she does. He leans in, takes her face in his hands and moves until their faces touch softly, once._

_ A perfect kiss…_

I look away. I censor this sort of thing by habit, but a part of me recognizes just how good a thing this is. I know now what I have done.

They are together again.

I can see that in the moment before the kiss.

After a solid length of time, I look back…

_And they break apart. Her hand is in his, her eyes are on his face, blood-red and full of a light you scarcely recognize. There is no tie between this girl and the one you first saw, or even the girl of a minute ago._

_ "Now do you see the truth, my love?"_

_ "I'm sorry I doubted you, Edward."_

_ "I'm sorry I left you."_

_ "I forgive you."_

_ He kisses her forehead, softly. She suppresses a shudder. "What's wrong?" he asks._

_ "When you left…"_

_ "Oh. I'm sorry."_

_ "I forgive you," she repeats…_

I smile. It's time to return home. "Jazz?"

He's at my side in a moment. "Yes?"

"Our family can be together again."

There is a second of incomprehension, and then a wide grin splits his face…

_There is a sense of time passing, as you sometimes have in these moments. You know it's been a while._

_ Time means so little to you, though. After all, the troubles are over. You've gone through the hard parts. _

_ And now you- and your whole family- are happy. _

_ This vision is like a picture, almost a family portrait._

_ In one corner, the most perfect person on earths stands, her long, pale arms around the huge man. His dark curls frame his broad grin as he pulls his wife to his side._

_ You and your soulmate stand hand in hand. He is almost comically taller than you, but he _belongs _beside you, right here. You do not touch any more intimately than that, but you could swear you can feel his soul._

_ Your mother and father are looking happily down upon all of you, his arm around her waist, gently reassuring her that this is forever, that this beautiful family need never change._

_ And happiest and most surprising of all, a radiant brunette girl with eyes now sunk to topaz stands in the comforting arms of a bronze haired boy. You can see the ring on her finger, sparkling with rows of diamonds._

_ The expression on her face is pure happiness. His is somewhere between bliss and shock._

I smile a final time and take my Jasper's hand as we head back, finished this detour in forever.

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	13. Chapter 13

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"Bella, come back here!"

"What _now, _Alice?"

I grin and pin up a tuft of her hair. "That's all. Just wanted to get your hair up."

She smiles. "Thanks. I think. How do I look?"

"Incredible. Not to brag, but I did a good job."

"With very little to work with," she mutters, and I shake my head.

"False modesty, Isabella Cull-"

She reaches out an arm and smacks me. "Now, Alice. That's _bad luck!"_

"Right. It is your wedding day, after all. I wouldn't let Edward in here, so I guess I can't go calling you his name."

"Thanks."

I observe my creation. She is perfect. I wouldn't let her wear white. It's the first time anyone's listened to me on this.

Rosalie says only impure women don't wear pure white at their weddings, and that was the end of that conversation. After all, it's not my place to pry into that particular part of her past.

Esme and Carlisle were already married when I got here, but I saw the album- she looked so washed out. It's a shame.

And Jasper and I were married very hurriedly. We didn't have time for this ceremony.

But Bella gets the full benefit of my expertise, since she couldn't care less one way or the other. She is wearing a cream dress, shot through with gold threads, and a veil covering her face.

It's kind of a shame, considering all the trouble I went through to perfect said face.

She's wearing a thin coat of blush. She grumbled about that a little- "I don't have blood anymore, and I still have to embarrass myself by being red as a beet. Come _on, _Alice."

But I talked her around. Her eyes are lined in a sparkling blue, her eyes light golden covered to bring out their rich and unusual color.

Her almost too-large lips are stained deep, deep red, and her brown hair is twisted up into a knot, elegantly curled in ringlets that took me four hours and a very powerful iron I had to special order from Japan.

The dress squeezes her tiny frame, but flares out into a wide skirt covered in tulle and gold braid that drags on the floor. She's wearing flats- unfortunately- but at least they are delicate and quite pretty.

"You're ready to go, Bells."

"Thanks," she says, and smiles. The ring twinkles on her finger.

She walks away from me, down along the wide expanse of pale fabric I laid out, past the blooming pale green roses and spurts of bright and fragrant freesia, Edward's one request for this day.

I watch her go. No visions have disturbed me today, and I haven't stopped to look. Yet I know, because of long experience or just a natural inclination towards these guesses, that all will be well. The days of darkness are behind us all.

I take my place at the top of the aisle, and, once again, watch the pieces fall into place, just as I always knew they would.

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